7 Evil Exes by The Former Fat Boys

The soundtrack for ‘Scott Pilgrim Vs The World’ is already jam packed with goodies, not least the aforementioned ‘Black Sheep’ by Metric. It’s all very exciting stuff and I’m looking forward to making love to your earholes.

Now, it’s worth stressing that given the embarrassment of musical riches that we have at the moment, we are not looking for more material for the film’s soundtrack.

But it would churlish of me not to link to this valiant effort to get on the OST.

See below for a musical plea from Chicago’s own Former Fat Boys, who describe themselves on their Twitter page as “the best hip-hop duo on Earth since Fresh Prince & DJ Jazzy Jeff”. That’s some serious shit right there.

Enjoy their submission for the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack, ‘7 Evil Exes’ which is in the grand tradition of movie raps from Will Smith, Bobby Brown and Partners In Kryme.

Here it is, with lyrics after the clip…

And here, by kind permission of The Former Fat Boys is the crazy ass rhymes of ‘7 Evil Exes’…

Its crazy this girl’s got me wrapped around her little finger
She’s skating through my dreams, but i can’t say i’ve ever seen her
She’s got an attitude, she’s got a fantastic butt
But i’m playing with knives, so i just may get cut
Cuz these are the details of my precious little life
As i try to find a way to make it all work out right
Its like its all been paused and she just pushed the start
I can take on Ganon now, her potion refilled all my hearts
All these evil exes and no exits to run to
The old 1, 2 its only forward can’t go back no control z to undo
Cuz i got a crazy ex who’s slightly underage, filled with rage
Obsessed with my sex bob-omb on and off the stage
And what i lack in confidence, i make up in spazz
And when of flying array of demonic hipster chicks attacks
I’ll just reflect their blast, send it back
Cuz i’m that smooth
I guess i can’t lose
I’ll fight these bad dudes

cuz she’s got 7, 7, 7
evil ex boyfriends
And they’re coming and i’m running
And i’m trying to defend
Her honor and her life
Cuz i’ve never lost a fight
And I ain’t gon start tonight
They’ll drop hard when i hook right

cuz she’s got 7, 7, 7
evil ex boyfriends
And they’re villians, super villians
So this just might be the end
So i grab on to her hand
Jam out with my band
It may look like i’m losing but
That’s all part of the plan

This must be punishment for my seven deadly sins
That i committed cuz a little envy’s doing me in
Like i’m samson, she’s delilah, i get a new haircut i die cuz
That’s my weakness and this week is not my week cuz i am sleepless
Between, lisa, envy, knives, kim, ramona, and winifred
And 7 evil exes i’m worried my destruction is imminent
I need lives unlimited, cuz i need wins not useless points
With no bus fare, a long walk home unless i score me some coins
Cuz i just wanna say i love you like i’m mario she’s peach
But i’m feeling like a toadstool just staring at my feet
And i keep getting letters spelling my impending doom
But i just throw em in the trash cuz i am about to go boom on her

7, 7, 7
evil ex boyfriends
And they’re coming and i’m running
And i’m trying to defend
Her honor and her life
Cuz i’ve never lost a fight
And I ain’t gon start tonight
They’ll drop hard when i hook right

cuz she’s got 7, 7, 7
evil ex boyfriends
And they’re villians, super villians
So this just might be the end
So i grab on to her hand
Jam out with my band
It may look like i’m losing but
That’s all part of the plan

Its like i’m embattled in an epic quarrell
It’s like I’m jonathan strange but there’s 7 mr. norrells
It’s like playing contra without 30 lives, I’m a die
Mission impossible and I’m tom cruise now, not 95
I can’t win, there’s an ex girlfriend now i can’t hit a chick
Where do you punch ’em, can’t kick her ass, can’t punch her tits shit
If only i could find it, on this subspace road, a cheet code
For something from the gilded house of flying burritos, mmm burritos
I’ll use my bass guitar to whoop that vegan’s ass
Manipulating sound waves like the boys and crash
And i’ll take down that famous actor and score his autograph
And if she lets me grab her boobs i’ll have the last laugh on her

7, 7, 7
evil ex boyfriends
And they’re coming and i’m running
And i’m trying to defend
Her honor and her life
Cuz i’ve never lost a fight
And I ain’t gon start tonight
They’ll drop hard when i hook right

cuz she’s got 7, 7, 7
evil ex boyfriends
And they’re villians, super villians
So this just might be the end
So i grab on to her hand
Jam out with my band
It may look like i’m losing but
That’s all part of the plan

Original Source: 03/15: Lyrics to 7 Evil Exes - by request | Posted by: DJTanner

Well there you go! They totally rhymed ‘crash’ with ‘vegan’s ass’. Much respect. If you enjoyed do give the @formerfatboys a big up on their Twitter.

Again, we are not asking for or soundtrack submissions, but I thought it would be fun to post this one for your entertainment.

Until next time.